Exploring Emotional Intelligence: the power of EQ
No doubt you have heard of IQ as a yardstick of intelligence, but have you heard of EQ?
Let’s try it this way… Think back to high school and the inevitable labels that follow students around. Geeks and nerds like Steve Erkle from the hit show Family Matters inevitably were perceived as having high IQ and low EQ, while the socially popular kids were high EQ and sometimes low IQ.
Steve Erkle from the hit sitcom show Family Matters, then and now
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it's an inborn characteristic.
Humans are inherently emotional beings, which differentiates us from AI (artificial intelligence). Awareness and control of emotion is where the intelligence quotient comes in. If you can recognize an emotion and manage those feelings, that is emotional intelligence. If you can read or sense the emotions of others and respond effectively, that is also emotional intelligence.
After delving into the research and working with diverse minds, I have become convinced that you are born with your own range of abilities in every arena and the gift of neuroplasticity that allows each of us to mold our minds for better or worse. Buckets of research in neuroplasticity will back me up on that.
There is no such thing as a Born Loser.
Emotional intelligence has been one of the most undervalued, but crucial skills, in negotiating the world successfully. As awareness around this builds, recruiters are increasingly prioritizing “soft skills” when hiring for a reason.
As beautifully stated by Elaine Houston in an article in Positive Psychology,
“Emotional intelligence (EI) forms the juncture at which cognition and emotion meet, it facilitates our capacity for resilience, motivation, empathy, reasoning, stress management, communication, and our ability to read and navigate social situations and conflicts. EI matters and if cultivated affords one the opportunity to realize a more fulfilled and happy life.”
The misconception that IQ alone is the predictor of success is still very real however.
In reality, IQ contributes to around 20% of the factors that determine life success – we all know someone (or perhaps are that person) who has a high IQ yet struggles to do ‘well’.
So, what accounts for the other 80%?
Daniel Goleman popularized the concept of EQ in 1995 with the publication of his book Emotional Intelligence. He argues that life success is influenced more by an individual’s ability to engage in the competencies he defined as EI than social class or dumb luck.
Understanding EQ begins with digging deeper into what defines it. Emotions can be intricate and complex, so it’s no surprise that Daniel Goleman identified 12 competencies that make up Emotional Intelligence. I find it easiest to chunk them into quadrants. Here is a simple visual to help as well.
The four quadrants of Emotional Intelligence
The 4 quadrants divide EQ into the crossing categories of self-awareness and awareness of others, matched with the categories of self-regulation and relationship with others.
When you break out the quadrants, the 12 competencies are revealed. Each of the management quadrants rely on awareness, particularly self-awareness. This can get tricky, because it requires intense attention to cues that are often driven by unconscious forces. If you look at the competencies under self-management this makes even more sense.
The 12 competencies of Emotional Intelligence
Let’s say you get a negative vibe every time you are around a certain person. You just don’t like them. When you really reflect on your emotion, you realize it is jealousy driving your negativity. Or... perhaps they remind you of someone that was nasty to you, and you are projecting your hurt onto them. Or... perhaps this person is giving cues you recognize unconsciously as dishonesty, and you lack trust.
Until you can identify the negative reaction you are feeling, it is almost impossible to know how to manage yourself appropriately. These emotions may be triggered by your social awareness, the ability to read people, or simply your past. When you are in a position where you must interact with them regularly, this becomes even more crucial to decipher. Perhaps it is a family member or an employee, or even your boss. If you have even a short-term relationship with them, these factors will influence your ability to manage that relationship. Success as a leader or member of any group, whether it be a social network, family, or business venture requires every skill in the first 3 quadrants before you can fully embody the skills in the fourth. The skills in the fourth quadrant... the ability to manage conflict, influence, coach or mentor, influence others, or work in a team can vault you to much success in the world. The lack of these skills can also sabotage the most brilliant individual.
Emotional Intelligence is truly the suite of skills that determines the efficacy of great intellect.
Harnessing human talent is the key to implementing great concepts, technology, and employing the beauty of humanity. Attention to empowering these skills can foster them and are an evergreen source of success that can grow for a lifetime.